Happy Father's Day!

My Father!

My Dad!

An example of strong human character.

An example of wisdom

An example of unconditional love.

A man with a heart that is so generious.

A man who made a choice for me. 

A man who chooses to love me and be my Father.

To be a father is a choice.

Yes human actions can create a child.

To be a dad and a father, to be there for these new beings is a man's choice.

Those that chose their own children are a blessing and what strength to be there for their very own blood and children.  

Giving and reciving love and the everyday life, nothing could be more beautiful!

 My father chose years ago, (my kid sister and I not being his blood)...to be our father.

To be a father to your own blood or to make choice of some other kind...

This is a daily conscious choice.

For those who take the selfless road for their own children, and for those that take the selfless road of saying  "YES!" opening their heart wider and taking on other children...

These men that are there in the good and bad times. 

Take on the responsibility in all ways to be their for their child and children...

Then there is a man I have recently met, Michael, and has the same role I do...the sole parent who is the father and the mother 99.66666% of the time...wow!

These men are the "Super Dads".

My father.

He amazes me daily with his heart.

The man that stood next to my mother as we witnessed, and said "I do".

A man with 4 beautiful, talented, successful children of his own...and we all blended.

These are my siblings all of them...and this is MY FATHER too!!!

A man that now says he has 6 children.  :)  And enjoys the bragging rights of us all.

The man that shares the example of a best friend and an amazing husband to my mother.

A man that can hold me accountable with love, ministering, teaching...

The man I call "Dad" without hesitation.

My Father!

He is there when my life is full of thorns and I need to talk.

He is there to say "OH NO!"

And that he loves me no matter what.

He lets me cry and shares his wisdom.

He is honest and this helps me blossom.

He is there for the great times and is the first to say "YES!!!" 

He is there always.

My father is Maxx's grandfather...Pa Pa!

He is the strongest example of a man, son, husband, father that Maxx has.

For that I am so thankful.

They have this bond since Maxx's birth, that is more than beautiful.

Everyman, no matter what, when or where is an example to our sons.

Maxx is also blessed by some beautiful men in his life that are his friends' father's.

What they do with him and make the choice to step up to give him a pat on the back and a high-5.

I am forever grateful for them.

He also has his father that does take a few hours a week to be there...it is not ideal, but Maxx knows his father, and there are lessons, big life lessons here.

I am so thankful for these men in his life.

Excitement to see him bloom as he takes in all of these examples and to see the big choices of love he makes.

Thank you Dad for being you, my father and Maxx's Pa Pa!

We love you!

For all those other Papa Bears out there that chose every day to step up and make that huge selfless loving choice!

This is your day of appreciation!!!

Happy Father's Day!

this moment

My moment, inspired by SouleMama

Happy Weekending!!!

Made it happen!...End of the Year Camping Trip

So the end of the year push.
A family 2nd grade camping trip.
We are going to do it!!!
This single full time working Mama...I'm determined as I signed Maxx and I up a month ago on the sign up sheet.
How...who knows.  It will.

So with the new job and preparing to move and keeping up with other life and love and the love of life stuff...
It is Wednesday.
Two days before camping.
Have I thought about any of it?  Kinda.
Full work week still ahead. Going to be a 6 day work week.
Gear? No...
An email with the word of what we need, and a back up plan with bedding to sleep in the wagon.
We ARE going!
Always an adventure!

I head out of work, go grab the Maxx man from school...goal to make the group dinner at 6pm.
We head to our new home to sign the lease, pay the deposit and first months rent.
New address...we are set. 
Home to pack for our camping trip.
To the grocery store for our food share, snacks, drinks, ice, and spirits for the late night camp fire.
We hop in the wagon and head out...on the highway...out of the city...
We sing.
We get gas.
We snack.

Into the sunset...Bright.
Some how my first night photos have vanished...
Arrival was soup and salad dinner around the camp fire, at the picnic tables...
Setting up camp.
Enjoying the fellowship of 66...adults, children, dogs...some of our class family.

The children in and out of tents, in the woods, down to the river...
Clay and muddy paws...

The smell of campfire smoke.
The fresh air.
The joy in children playing and adventuring.
The arrivals of more.
The enjoyment of being still after a long work week.
The visiting with Mama and Papa bears that are my friends.

S'mores!!!!
A campfire and camping trip brings out the treat, something we only have at the lake and camping.
Maxx knows just the way I like mine now too!!!
He always makes me one first and then one for himself...  *mama swoon* so sweet!
Wow!!! How our children went from sweet adventurers
To WILD Indians with flashlights and glow stix through the camp site.

Children to bed.
I fall asleep with Maxx...to wake...should I go to the campfire with the other adults or stay asleep and rest.
Not able to resist missing out...
I'm unzipping the tent with flash light in hand and my jacket venture to the camp fire...grab a cold beer and take a seat.
Listen, laugh, join in...great fun.
Getting to know each other more, deeper... the connections.
This connection and bond...is a love of mine.

The next morning.
Saturday.
We got up.
I made Maxx and I breakfast and drank a great amount of strong needed camp coffee.
To set Maxx up with the other Mama bears.  In their care...
I head back to the city to shower and jam to work.
Rose parade, traffic...goodness, just gave myself enough time.
Make it to work.

 

Successful busy...

Full day...last minute customer rush...

Puts us behind...a training session, extended.

Its late.

I can think of my little at the camp without me. Having a ball.

Hours have gone by, I know he needs me.

I get a text "Maxx wants to know if you have an ETA..."

I knew it.

Whew.

Work day ends 2 hours after close.

A 6 day work week complete!!!

Head home for dry shoes...Maxx managed to soak his shoes and all socks brought.

Then back to the camp.

Singing in the sunset...ready to be back for the fun and a needed two days off.

 

The sunset was AhhhMAzing...singing in the car...filled with joy that I am making this all happen.

 Arrive.

Maxx is stoked to see me.

Big Mama baby...Hugs.

Thank yous given to the Mamas I see.

Time to climb into out tent and get some sleep.  He's so very tired.

Maxx, "Moooom!!! My friend broke our tent!"

Me, "What?"

Maxx, "My friend and I were playing today with our stuffies and we sat on the tent and it broke"

Me, "Well, lets go look at it and get some sleep."

Maxx so very tired, "Mom, I'm so sorry!"  he begins to cry.

Holding and consoling.

We get to the tent...and I am crack up.

Yes, they did manage to break it...inside frustration.

Hmmm.

Calm my insides.

Shelter...is all we need.

Funny.

The next morning...

A fellow parent came to me and said, "I love what you have done with your tent...Art!"

He came up with an explination of heading up hill and then...whooooop straight down.

We have a great laugh...

I share with him about the book  The Big Orange Splot...and how very fitting it was of things these days.

*i'm totally Cracked up writing this*

Funny.

 

The night camp fire was nice.

One dad decided to tell jokes he made up.

I think it was funnier that he kept trying...the jokes, not so much.

Then the exchange of jokes, beer, shots of te'lla...others had lime and salt...I had a jug of lemonade...

Getting to know each other more...new faces of families that had arrived that day, some from last night have headed home...and missed.  Then the ones that were at both camp fires.

We solved community issues and saved the world...and laughed and just had a riot of a great time. 

I love these beautiful friends in my community and feel so blessed these are my fellows in raising our children together.

Oh...that wake up.
Lack of sleep, adult spirits, dehydrated.
I NEED Coffee, STRONG and an abundance!!



Maxx manages to sleep in.
I let him.
I enjoy visiting with the other parents that are awake.
Enjoying the strong coffee...and slow outdoor freshness wake up.





Maxx wakes.
Make Maxx breakfast and enjoy him next to his friends...

What a sweet bunch of friends.
I'm going to miss him next to these friends everyday, but know "it will all be great!" at least that is what Maxx keeps telling me...and my mom and dad too.
(All kinds of emotions and the hardest ones flood in from my feelings towards my ex and his choice, choices...for his son.)

After breakfast we pack our gear and load up the wagon.
We pack light, it took no time.
We take some time to help other Mama's pack and organize the shared spaces.
Haul the trash, help haul gear to their cars, gather the lost and found...
Divvy up the extra food left behind.

Full of the out doors.
Smell of campfire.
Dirty to the bone.
Wet.
Filled full of memories and fun had.
Bonds made and joyful.
Taking in the road, the view...
Windows down breeze on our faces...
Radio on, we sing...
Forever changed.
Ready for what is to come,this summer.

We head back to the city. YES!!! I made it happen!

this moment

My moment, inspired by SouleMama

Happy Weekending!!!

Self Portrait 365...In Big Changes Find the Gifts

This post was started a week ago...

Just hurrying to post...
Sorry for the lack of time here...
This single Momma is so busy these days...and here is why.

Changes...BIG ones!

"Allow yourself to be a beginner, no one starts off being excellent."

I am finding myself at the beginning of so many changes.

A move.

Watching the removal of Maxx and I on this house that has enhanced out life this past year.  Knowing the imprints on our hearts are forever...this was our home.  The paint, the deep cleaning, the living, the loving, the birdhouse, the garden, and many other things left behind that this house will forever be touched by us.
A gift to have lived here.

A new job.
The gift of learning and being the beginner. 
Taking in the beginnings, the excellence, the quality, the artisan ship, the craft, the different threads, the culture, the products, the sources, the trainers, the leads, the teachers, the pride in each small detail, the intention, the results, the success, the joy, the people, the pastry, the bread, the menu...

...
the partnership, the roast, the coffee

...
transfering my skills to a new level

In full thankfulness to take on these new changes...keeps me open.

While others could and would never understand, unless they walked...
I can only do one moment at a time. 
With so many changes and so much input at one time...and taking care of a child...
Time zooms by, mistakes are made, communication lost...positive intentions lost...misunderstandings...frustrations projected...
Personal judgement that needs calming...
It will all work out for the better.
Trying to comprehend...personal journey. (Fitting calendar print and symbolic word for my June 2013  love Niki McClure's work)
 

The gift of reflections...and those that pour gasoline on you... when you and they know you are already on fire.
Blessings on them as they project and react.
How others react shares more about who they are.
Human figuring this stuff out too.
That gift is and explosion of emotions needing to come out and a forward push while you are running, patting, rolling one minute at a time putting out the fires.

Embracing all of this, while caring for my little one (who is my ultimate inspiration to find the joy...)
It can just be too hard some days.
The gift of tomorrow.
The gift of imperfection.
The gift of motherhood.

To quote Michael in a text on my phone the other day...
"The one who falls and gets back up is stronger than one who has never fallen."
WOW!
He has no idea how much support he has been as my friend.
Such a humble wise spirit.

I find myself in consent research and as I watch other artisans...
to add to my newest craft...
Beauty.
A gift.
The gift to remind me to keep practicing.
The gift to work next to one of the strongest baristas in the city

The gift of Sundays off.
Maxx and Mom days are filled with pure fun and lots of plannings for our changes.
We are looking for our new home and in our quest...we stop to play.
It is so good for me to play, I have this inner jester, it comes out in different ways...
Being a Capricorn, I think I have been a serious being since birth.
Deep in thought...how to make my world a better place, make my life richer every day.
But give me the mic or a stage...and I can come out of my shell...funny how that is.

I have enjoyed some Sagittarians...that I have recently met...life of the party they are.
At work, new friends...total adrenaline, dedicated to their passion, out going, fun to be around...
Out of my comfort zone...learning about my confidence with these.

This little guy of mine has been great at reflection and a reason to just be silly, laugh, laugh at myself and have pure fun.  It is good for him to see me play and be playful...I have to remind myself of this everyday.
Don't be so serious...take moments to just be silly and playful.

A treasure of love.
On a walk.
A poem gift.
Poetree.

A gift of time with a bonding new friendship, becoming much more.

He chose to drive.
He shared his stomping grounds and stories from his younger/youth days.
Then took me out for lunch...laughs over Bop magazine and star crushes
Then he drove us out of the city...
...and drove...

We drove and drove further and further and curve in deeper and deeper into the woods.
I had not a clue, but knew there would be a grand surprise.

We crossed bridges and came to a gravel parking space and into a park...a walk to the river...

The amazing green moss that grows on the metal bridge.

Who would have known ...we have just had urban my 'hood outings...
I was headed on a surprise hike on a wet and muddy day.
With gusto I took my chucks off and followed hopping from rock to rock...through the bushes...in the rain.
Wanna be nature girl, but really urban-ified...not scared, giggles and tigger bounces.
He's a solider...and an outdoor sportsman, so cool, calm and collected.
He looks back and smiles at me trying to keep up.
Rain, Mist, Pacific Northwest weather...
Shelter of a bridge.
A sweet moment of charcoal and a concrete wall...
Soothing river water.
A gift of peace and comfort.

Cold feet from the freezing river water , wet hair, Earth touches on my clothes.

An awesome adventure.

A beautiful day.

He drives almost 2 hours to hang with me a couple times a week.
I look forward to each time.
He also holds me to write in the space...a reminder that he enjoys my scribbles and wants to read more.
The gift of support.


My parents partnership.
This is a huge needed change.
Their mentoring and ministering.
We talk on the phone each night 7pm my time 9pm their time.
Their time and energy.
A beautiful time to reflect, a partnership, sharing, bonding, blessings, and prayers.
What a gift of love.

The changes are happening fast...there will be more updates soon.

this moment

My moment, inspired by SouleMama

Happy Weekending!!!

this moment

My moment, inspired by SouleMama

Happy Weekending!!!